let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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