so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
