Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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