she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
