if you like me you must not know who I am
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
