his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
