why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
