It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
