So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
