Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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