I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
