you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
