I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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