Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
