direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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