There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
