she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
