lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
