Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
