Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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