Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
NoShamevember. You game?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
