No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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