I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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