More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
