i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
