Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
