I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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