so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bring me that man meat
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
