I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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