at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
