Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
