I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
