marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
