I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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