what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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