She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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