I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
