Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im six kinds of drunk right now
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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