it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
