I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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