how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
