dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My cat gives me a boner
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
