So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
God, I missed his penis.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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