you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need to sanitize my soul.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
