Dual....:-)
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
