My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
