i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry about my life...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
