i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's the barista slut.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
