Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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