Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
