are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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